I'm bored.

Ask me the naughtiest personal sexual questions you can. I'll answer honestly.

Okay, I know some of you are going to read the next sentence and either stop reading, bite my head off, or both.

Today, I tried my first cigarette.

If you got past that sentence, congratulations. You've got the sanity and maturity required to read the rest of this journal.

Yes, I'm aware that smoking is terrible for me. Yes, I have asthma and I was aware that the first puff could potentially have killed me. Yes, I am aware that it was a very stupid thing to do.

However, NO, I do not plan to ever do it again.

I suppose the motive behind this was to see what all the hype was about. I have a few friends who smoke, none of them more than two or three cigarettes a day, and I just wanted to try it. My grandfathers on both sides and my grandmother on my mother's side smoked nearly their entire lives (my dad's dad died of lung cancer, and my mom's parents quit when I was in elementary school). My mother smoked when she was young (quit before she met my dad), as did my aunt (quit) and my uncle (God rest his soul...no, he died in a car crash, not from smoking). I guess you could say that smoking is in my blood, but then again my parents and grandparents grew up in the days where smoking was a lot more common and the cigarette companies hadn't yet been forced to be honest about the health risks associated with smoking.

So, anyways, this evening I walked from my dorm to a convenience store on Hillsborough Street and purchased a pack of Camel No. 9 Menthe cigarettes, for about six bucks (quick note here: for about that much, I could have purchased a filling meal at the Chinese restaurant a few blocks down the street). Yes, I am aware those cigarettes are for girls. All I did was say "can I get a pack of Camels", and those were the first thing the nice lady behind the counter pointed to, so I said "yeah, those".

I walked back to my dorm room, and then I opened the pack. I smelled the cigarettes and thought it over.

Nice smell...Reminded me of prunes and a hint of candy, with just a touch of mint.

Packaging was pretty cool, too. Black box, outlined in mint green, and the lettering was pink. The foil lining inside was pink as well.

Price was...Well, for the price I could have gotten a fairly nice cigar at the tobacconists shop on the other end of the street. It would've been a lot more healthy (yes, I am aware it's not a healthy thing to do, but as it's pure tobacco, it's a hell of a lot safer than a cigarette and there are sure a lot of worse things I could do to my body). I guess I can't complain about the price, as it was a learning experience, but now I wish I hadn't paid so much. Anyway...

After mulling it over for a few more minutes, I opened my desk drawer and pulled out a lighter, and then went to my backpack and retrieved my inhaler, just in case something went really, really wrong. So I wouldn't make a complete ass of myself, I walked away from my dorm to a courtyard that's deserted in the evening. I've heard horror stories of people passing out or puking with their first cigarette, and I sure didn't want anyone to see that if it happened, so I was glad to be alone. Then it was time for the moment of truth. I lit up that first cigarette.

The first puff was just to taste the smoke. I'm not gonna lie, it tasted pretty darn good. I guess that's how they hook people initially, is the taste. It really had a minty flavor, which I'm assuming meant it was a menthol cigarette (double bad, yes, I know). Next, I was going to actually inhale the smoke.

I admit, I wimped out on the second and third puff. I was actually pretty scared. What if I died from just one puff of a cigarette? What if I got addicted from my first cigarette? What if a friend suddenly walked up and walked away thinking I was the stupidest person in the world? (And even I have to admit that they would sort of have a point)

Anyway, on the fourth puff, I inhaled.

Ladies and gentlemen, that was enough to turn me off from smoking. I don't understand how ANYONE can smoke this stuff. It was FREAKING HOT. I thought my lungs were on FIRE. My God, they STILL ache, even an hour later! I breathed out almost immediately upon feeling the sensation, that's how bad it was. But I manned up and finished the cigarette, because I was going to go all the way with this experiment. I regret that now, but that's what learning is for.

And don't get me started on this supposed "buzz" that you're supposed to get from smoking. People, I get more of a buzz from a crappy can of Milwaukee's Best Ice after eating a seven-course dinner. For God's sake, I get more of a buzz from a CIGAR, and you don't even inhale those!

As we speak, the remainder of the pack is sitting in the drawer beside my computer desk. I do not plan to smoke any more of them. I'm either going to give them to one of my smoking friends or throw them in a trash can on my way to class tomorrow morning.

People reading this, if you ever get the slightest inkling to smoke a cigarette, don't do it. It's not worth it, in EVERY sense of the phrase. If you want to look cool, buy a pair of nice sunglasses for about $200 (which is about 4% of what the typical smoker spends on cigarettes in a YEAR). If you want to enjoy the taste of tobacco, get a pipe or smoke a cigar once every two weeks, like I do. If you want a buzz, go out drinking with friends every once in a while, which is something I also enjoy (please drink responsibly).

Just don't smoke a cigarette. You're gonna regret it, sooner or later.

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I'm crying on the inside...

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Finally, the jury came to the correct decision.

For anyone not familiar with this case, Robert Higbee is a New Jersey state trooper who was in the middle of a low-speed chase at night, went through an intersection, and hit a car traveling through the intersection, killing two teenage girls who were on the way home from the store. Higbee was following all legal police procedure during the chase, including traveling through an intersection, and according to every policeman's organization consulted on the case he did nothing wrong. Yet he was charged with two counts of vehicular homicide because he was supposedly "reckless".

For anyone to be found reckless, they must reasonably know that what they are doing is extraordinarily risky, and still go ahead with the action they are considering. In this case, the legal definition of reckless was not met, because Trooper Higbee would normally have taken that risk, as any police officer would have, during any pursuit. Even though it was a risk to go through the intersection, it was not an EXTRAORDINARY risk. The vast majority of police organizations were astounded that charges were even brought against Trooper Higbee.

Condolences to both the families of Robert Higbee and the victims' families, because both parties have been through awful times during the two years that this case has been ongoing. But I don't think this case could have been prosecuted successfully and resulted in anything but a marked decrease in the quality of police work nationwide. If we make our officers hesitant to engage in pursuits of drivers who are driving unsafely, then we expose everyone on the road to greater danger.

This is it.

The big one.

Today is my twenty-first birthday.

Except…I don’t drink…so it’s kind of anti-climactic…and cigars and porn already came at eighteen…so…yeah.

Events in history that happened on my birthday:
1377 – The Cesena Bloodbath
1690 – Massachusetts issues the first paper money in America
1783 – Spain recognizes US independence
1873 – The Fifteenth Amendment to the US Constitution is ratified (voting rights regardless of race)
1913 – The Sixteenth Amendment to the US Constitution is ratified (income tax)
1917 – The US breaks off diplomatic relations with Germany (for the first time...)
1945 – 1,000 B-17 bombers bomb the shit out of Berlin (USA! USA! USA!)
1959 – Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper die in a plane crash (The Day the Music Died…fuck)
1966 – Soviet spacecraft Luna 9 makes the first rocket landing on the moon (unmanned)
1969 – Yasser Arafat is appointed leader of the PLO
1998 – A US military plane cuts the line of a cable car in Italy, plunging 20 people to their deaths (way to go, genius… )
2007 – a bomb explodes in a Baghdad market, killing 135 and injuring 339

People who were born on my birthday:
1338 – Jeanne de Bourbon, wife of Charles V of France
1809 – Felix Mendelssohn, German composer
1811 – Horace Greeley, American journalist, editor, and publisher (hope I caught some of that magic)
1859 – Hugo Junkers, German aircraft designer
1894 – Norman Rockwell, American illustrator (I know I didn’t catch any of that magic)
(everybody after that was people I’d never heard of)

People who died on my birthday (depressing):
1874 – Lunalilo, Hawaiian monarch
1924 – Woodrow Wilson, President of the United States of America
1935 – Hugo Junkers, German aircraft designer (whoa, freaky)
1945 – Roland Freisler, Nazi leader (shithead probably got hit by one of those B-17s)
1959 – Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper, American musicians (again, fuck)
1985 – Frank Oppenheimer, American physicist and younger brother of J. Robert Oppenheimer (light ‘em up, baby!)

Holidays occurring today:
Setsubun (Japan) – the traditional first day of Spring
Four Chaplain’s Day (United States) – commemorating the deaths of four US Army chaplains who gave their lives to save soldiers on the sinking USAT Dorchester during WWII

So, in short, a lotta shit happened on my birthday and I won't be getting drunk. But I already got some new earrings, so that's cool.